nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just gift wrapped bread.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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