dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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