Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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