I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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