"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
