Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
