You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
