problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
