I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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