I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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