its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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