Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
