How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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