Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
