Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
