im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
