How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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