Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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