For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
