Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize