This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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