i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
