After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
