I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
