Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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