you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
