Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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