The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize