We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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