he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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