A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
