ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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