wrigley field is MILF paradise
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
3pm strippers are depressing
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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