Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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