38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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