Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
