just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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