i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
