I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
