Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
