My liver just broke up with me...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
