Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
