google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
