We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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