I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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