the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
