Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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