well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
