Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
