I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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