i wish my penis had a tongue
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize