i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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