Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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