I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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