You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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