Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
