Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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