i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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