She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
