Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
