She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pants are for mortals
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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