are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
