Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
