That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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